Saturday 3-23-13
After our trip to the cemetery, I felt so much burden lifted and refreshed. David and I drove around some old dirt roads in the snow. We drove from Essex out to a lake called Pierce Creek were we did a lot of fishing as kids. My dad enjoyed fishing and was really good at re-baiting fishing lines, although that may have come with years of experience since me and my brother were really good at getting our fishing lines stuck in the muck of the lake.
There's one story I must tell, even knowing that my entire family has heard it so many times they will be telling it right along with me. I was a young girl and my dad spent a lot of time prepping me on going fishing. He told me that I had to have patience.. Fishing takes time and you just have to wait until the fish are ready to bite your bait. There will be a lot of sitting around so just enjoy the fresh air. There's bugs so use the stinky bug spray and dont forget the sun dope (sun screen). But most of all, I have to be quiet... Dont make any loud noises, dont make any quick movements and dont scream or you will scare the fish away. My dad did a good job at telling me how important this last rule was; I knew I had to be quiet, but I was so proud I got to go along with the boys and go fishing. When walking up to the lake you have to park your car in a lot and hike over and down this hill to the lake. I was so excited to follow the little path down the hill. I was wearing flip flops and shorts. The grass was so tall it was tickling my bare legs but I knew I couldnt laugh (it might be too noisy). About half way down the hill I just froze in place. I started to whimper and point down to my leg. I didnt want to scream, it would scare the fish away, so I just stood there.. "mmhh, mmhh," "mmhhh, mmhhh!" "MMHHH, MMHHH!!!" With every whimper my hand gester to my leg was more stern. My dad turned and looked at my leg and let out a really loud scream. "Dad, you broke the rules, you screamed; you're gonna scare the fish away!!!" He didnt care though.. You see on my skinny little leg was this huge snake wrapped around like it was crawling up a tree. With each "mmhh" it was swirling around my leg and crawling up even higher towards my waste. By the last "MMMHH!" the snakes whole body was around my entire leg. When my dad screamed the snake got scared, pooped on my leg and slithered down the path and swam on top of the lake. The image of the snake swimming on the water, and seeing how big it really was, is still fresh in my head. So is the scream of a father protecting his daughter to scare away the snake, even if that meant scaring the fish away. Just to finish the story, I wiped off the poop with a paper towel, and we went fishing.. And some of the fish even came back so we could catch them. :) I grew up being a tom boy who loved to fish and even catch snakes, just not the big ones.. But yes, I still wanted to play with gardener snakes and I wasnt afraid of them. My brother and I told this story again, its become a family favorite, as we were driving around at the lake.
There are times in life I just want to cry and scream .. Things are out of control and I have a big "monster" crawling inside of my head. Those monsters turn to fear so I get scared and insecure of myself and turn my emotions off. I wimper and hold back tears to be strong but in reality it makes more fears and holds me back from trying things I want to try.. The fear of failure becomes too strong and it holds me back from even trying (college comes to mind). What I should do is just let it all out and scream. Maybe its ok to scream every now and then ... It might feel good and get those real emotions out and maybe it will even chase the monsters away. For now back to the lake..
I got out and braved the cold wind and snow to take a few pictures then off we went to the next stop... After the lake we drove over to the sand pits to see how they have changed. The sand pits are not the kind you see in pictures at the ocean on the west coast. I'm not sure there's even any sand in these dunes. Instead they are mini ponds we went mudding in as teenagers. Some ponds were bigger than others and "back in the day" they were teenage hideouts. I guess the city finally got smarter than the teenagers and they made the sand pits into a campground so everyone can enjoy.
I felt like I was on a bus tour (like they have in big cities) to view all the popular sites. I realized when I went to take a picture with my cell phone it was no longer on my lap, which meant it must be back at Pierce Creek. All I could think about was this muskrat I was trying to take a picture of, while at Pierce Creek, would find my phone and go swimming. I was fidgeting all the way back to the lake; i felt like crying. I was in luck though, my phone was right where it fell out, and I was even able to get it dried before any damage was done.
Now its snowing enough the dirt roads are blending in with the sides of the road. I can hear kathy and jeff saying "ooohh" like grandma Hazel in my head and I smile. Its time to head back towards town. David and I decide on the hyvee deli take out for dinner and head back to his house. Its been a long emotional day, time to veg out in front of the tv and relax. Both david and I are tired and the movie "Grown Ups" is on tv. It feels good to sit and reflect on my day while watching a good comedy.
My ah ha moment at the end of my day... Sometimes a whimper will do, sometimes you need to cry, sometimes its a simple goodbye, and sometimes you really need to scream to let it all out and chase all your fears away... And thats all ok... But sometimes you just need some one on one time with your brother and a silly comedy to make it all better. ♡
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