The day my world just stopped

Friday 3-22-13 afternoon/evening

The day my world just stopped

Friday afternoon meant a trip to the grocery store to get stocked up on breakfast food, snacks and beer for the week. I have mentioned Iowa is a slow pace of life. I have lived in other small towns but nothing matches up to a small town in Iowa. I am uncertain how to explain it completely... When the speed limit is 25, everyone drives 20 and no one thinks anything of it. There is no rush to be anywhere and people are genuinely nice and polite once you do get there. When you go to the grocery store you might see 5 or 10 people you know and everyone says hi and asks how you are doing. Jr high and high schools offer many dances throughout the year and everyone goes. Churches offer potlucks once a month for fellowship so you can get to know your neighbors better. Kids run freely from one yard to another. Neighbors talk to each other. Sharing the dirt road with a john deer tractor is very common. And there's a parking spot at the hy-vee grocery store next to the handicap parking for expectant mothers. Where else do you see that? Its just a different mindset. Shenandoah has changed over the years and houses have become more weathered, but the personalities of people have stayed the same. Names and faces are different but most people there genuinely have a good heart.

After grocery shopping we went out to dinner. We went to The Depot which is a "famous" restaurant in Shen. The original Depot burned down a few years ago but they have rebuilt the new one to look the same. The Depot has a lot of Shenandoah memorabilias on the walls and ceiling. Old band uniforms, high school trophies, and pictures everywhere of all the presidential candidates that have been to town. Also Shenandoah is the hometown of the Everly Brothers so there are pictures of them all over, along with several other concerts in town. There's also an old KYFR sign that was very neat to see.

After dinner back to the garage we went. Music is playing and coversations are flowing. Once again my brother and are discussing childhood memeories along with current life relationships. Eventually our conversation turned to different cities close to Shenandoah, including a small town called Essex. Many of of childhood memories come from that town. Essex is smaller than Shenandoah (hard to believe). It's where our church was along with many of our close church friends, young and old. It is a very Swedish town consisting of many people with the last name of Johnson and yummy swedish meatballs. Every year there would be Fourth of July parades (every church in town had a handmade float, including our own), pancakes, bake sales, ice cream socials, car washes, car smash up derbies, and even carnival rides. Every year many of the houses would flood (including our own in Shen) due to the rains and we would all pitch in to get the water out of the basements. I can even remember swimming in the water in the basement so it wasn't just a little damp; there was a lot of water. And Essex is where Max and Lucille lived....

As I've mentioned before my family is a family of 4... My dad, my mom, my brother and me. When my parents moved to Iowa from California I was 4 years old. My parents knew no one in Iowa, but they knew they didnt want to raise us kids in California. My dad worked for a Christian radio station and church was a big part of our lives. We went to a Covenant church and our church friends became our family... And we were all a very close family. My mom sang in a group called the Soteria singers, my dad did the sound for the group. They would travel around and sing at several different churches and retirement homes. We went to church every Wednesday and Sunday, with card games (idiots delight) with the church family every Friday and sometimes more often throughout the week. Many breakfasts, lunches, dinners, and holidays were spent with all of our friends.

Max and Lucille were my "grandparents"... I knew and even loved them more than my real grandparents. They were both involved a lot with the church and they adopted our family in every aspect of the word. Moped rides, sleigh rides (a full size sleigh pulled by a car on icy roads), a cat named Tina, cards and more cards (sandbagging too), my dads 40th "over the hill" birthday party, worlds of fun, christmas plays, shopping, and so much more... all with my best friend. Max and I were true buddies and for almost 9 years we went everywhere together. I had several friends my own age and I had a great relationship with my parents but there was something about Max and I ... We just connected. Everything was good.

I was in my early teens and having terrible migraines. I was getting sick and missing too much school. It was much more than just pms and my mom could tell something just wasn't right. Mom was at her witts end with trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I was starting to act different too. My parents were suppose to go out of town to Omaha for their anniversary and Max and Lucille were suppose to babysit us. My mom had watched a Phil Donahue show explaining many of my symptoms... I kept a diary, even back then, and my mom decided to read my diary. She was shocked! .... See Max started sexually abusing me and this was the day that changed my life. This was the day my family went from having a ton of security within our church friends, to starting all over... This was the day that my whole world stopped. It was the day my family's world just stopped.